POT Kirihara Style
by clockwork crow
Summary: Starting from Kirihara's entry to Rikkaidai. . .because Ryoma isn't the only prince around. [Kiricentric, Rikkaicentric]
1. Chapter 1

POT – Kirihara Style

A/N: I like Aka-chan. I also like Ryoma, Eiji, Kaido, Yuuta…but since Aka-chan doesn't seem to have a lotta stories. (poor Aka-chan, he's so unloved TT)

Disclaimers: Don't own anything, not even this computer.

I give you POT – Kirihara style (the brat prince no. 2)!! From freshman to…well….CC haven't quite decided how far yet…

* * *

**Chapter 1 – Who's the bakemone?**

Kirihara's POV

I have my life all planned out.

First, winning the Nationals, then Japan, then the world, then retire and buy off Hawaii and play tennis and have chocolate ice-cream sundaes with caramel sauce with the paper umbrella on the side ALL day.

It's simple really, since I'm so good in tennis there's no possible way Rikkaidai could not place me as their number one ace. Rikkaidai is just a stepping-stone I have to cross before I conquer the world (and buy off Hawaii and a life-time supply of sundaes). Rikkaidai should feel honored I applied to their school and not some unknown, upstart school like Fudomine or Rokkaku.

I entered like a prince and ended up as a peasant.

All because the baka-buchou is completely blind and treated me the same as other first-years, which meant ball-picking all day, all year, all weathers. It completely sucked since Rikkaidai's tennis club had over 100 seniors and juniors and that meant a lot of balls.

I mean a LOT of balls.

Someone as talented (and cool) as me shouldn't be stuck ball-picking. Are they so blind to my obvious brilliance or do they just lack neurons in their brain matter?

Either way, I'm NOT going to be stuck as some stupid, moronic, ball-picking first-year.

I glared at the ball that I had just picked up. It was lime-green, still fuzzy, still rather new…and it was mocking me. It had that 'Baka-Aka can't hit me! Buhahaha!' look on the fuzz.

Nobody (and no-thing) gets away with laughing at me!

Picking up a random abandoned racket, I whacked the ball hard and felt much better as it killed itself by conveniently smashing into some wannabe punk guy's head, said head plunged into some cream-filled cake, then rocketed off into the court, confusing a second-year who now had two balls instead of one. (He missed them both. What a slow idiot.) Then bounced and knocked over a crate of tennis balls.

I pouted cutely, which is the pout perfected so nobody could resist. I had been aiming to kill all three crates of balls.

"YOU!! FRESHMAN!!"

It sounded like that useless Nakayama-buchou.

I turned. It was. I still don't get why he's the buchou of all people. All I've seen him do is shout, wave, and rant. That seemed to be all he was able to do with a tennis racket.

"50 laps around the court!!" He shouted, whirling his arms excitedly.

I turned and pouted cutely at him. I think he fried too many brain cells with his ultra-sound, ultra-loud voice because my Akaya-patented pout didn't work! Maybe I should give him my Akaya-puppy-eyes TM as well…

I humphed, threw away the low-class racket I was holding. (It was low-class because it made me miss my target.) Since it was the buchou who ordered and on the first day no less, I decided to do as he said for now.

I'll take laps over ball-picking any day. It wasn't backbreaking or demeaning because pros do laps all the time (but not ball-picking). Someone as great as me shouldn't have to do such undignified work as _ball-picking_.

I took my time, because even though it's what pros do, laps are boring. To keep me from sleep-walking, I tried to trip every other runner I came across (five of them had really good reflexes but others landed on their face or butt) and kicked every tennis ball I found into the bushes (I think I broke something on my twenty-fifth ball because I heard a lovely crash).

When I finished my laps, (baka-buchou gave me 30 more because I 'accidentally' tripped his precious regular player over, then another 30 more because I tripped _him _over) practice was over and I have yet to play a single game of tennis.

To say I was upset was an understatement.

I grabbed my tennis bag, shoved a couple of first-years out of my way (and felt much better since they were standing so close together it caused a domino effect) and headed to the street courts.

Normally, I go there at night after dinner and after my ice-cream sundae but since I haven't touched my racquet yet, I wasn't hungry enough.

By the time I got there I was in high spirits drinking free soda from a vending machine after a perfectly placed kick, and figured out a point system:

Face – 80 points (I always like facial decorations.)

Chest – 20 points (Because nothing shows even if they bruise)

Ankle and wrists – 30 points (They stop playing to whine about it being broken. That's not fun.)

Butt – 100 points (Simply because it is very difficult to hit someone on the behind when they are facing you the entire time.)

Groin – 100 points (Just because it's funny to watch them howl)

I stepped into the court, glad to find four other players already there. I looked at one of them in the eye and smirked. He got pissed. It was almost too easy.

"What you want, you chibi?!" The bald guy shrieked. For such a huge guy he sure had a high-pitched, 5-year-old's voice. I laughed. Can't help it really, he provoked me. He shouldn't have screamed.

"You sure there's something between those legs of yours?" I hiccupped. "You sound like a girl."

Baldie suggested a match to 'teach me a lesson', which was what I wanted. All four of them against me…at the _same_ time. That was fine with me. Half of my brain is worth more than their four combined brains.

I quickly amended my point system.

Arguments – 50 points (watching them insult each other in lame ways is funny.)

Fighting – 80 points (I like it when it turns bloody, especially since I don't have to do the dirty work)

They let me serve and tried to act gentlemanly while doing it, which doesn't make sense because 4 against 1 is not at all chivalrous.

So I did.

I served my Knuckle Serve and scored 80 points off the bat. One of them went down, bawling like a stuck pig and clutching his nose. It was a vast improvement to his less-than-manly looks.

The other three started a gobbling turkey routine – each trying to cram as much expletives and curses before my next serve.

Another knuckle serve, my specialty. The ball bounced and crushed someone's ribcage. 20 points. I frowned.

"Are you sure you can play tennis? You're supposed to hit the ball with the racquet you know?"

I won two straight games before the stupid quartet decided to quit tennis and play 'beat-up-on-chibi' which is not tennis at all.

And not a game that I'm especially good at.

I grabbed two more tennis balls, rapidly launching a straight volley at them. Two idiots went down immediately clutching their faces and other body parts.

"That's how you use a racquet." I told at them, basking in their pain.

Two remaining idiots charged at me like an enraged rhinoceros, vaulting over the net and holding their racquets as their only weapon. Being as smart as I was, which was much smarter than _those _baka-tachi, I picked the only wise option -

Stuck out my tongue, turned and dashed for cover.

Of course, I could outrun those elephants any time of the day.

…just not on a bad day.

And today seems to be one of those ultra-bad days where everything that should go right somehow comes out all crooked and deformed.

I, the ever graceful Rikkaidai ace, _tripped_.

Tripped over _nothing. _Wasted precious few seconds of get-away time, scrapped my knee and pulled upright by the back of my shirt.

"Not so smart now, are you chibi?" The bald one sneered, one hand fisting my shirt leaving my legs dangling inches off the ground. I peddled my legs, tried to kick him in the shins. His arm was gorilla-sized, extra-long, extra-strong and extra-hairy. My foot fell short of my target by several inches…as did my fist from his face.

It was only logical that I started panicking now, and I did - because humans possess logic and animals didn't. That proves I'm human and the one holding me isn't, because he didn't run away or panic when I scored 80 points off his forehead.

"My chibi-brains are worth more than your saru-brains." I muttered. (_A/N: saru - monkey) _That was probably not very smart of me to say that to their faces. But it was true!

I guess baldie's friend must like lies more since he obviously couldn't handle the truth and took it out by punching me hard in the stomach. I didn't mean to say it outloud, the devil made me say it!

I stopped yanking out arm hair and cradled my stomach instead. It _hurts. _You just don't realize how much until a few seconds of panic had passed and reality steps in again.

The fists clenched again. I closed my eyes and braced myself for the oncoming hit that's never going to miss even if the guy suddenly strike blind by God. Like how the freight train never misses the random dumb deer.

He hit me in the stomach again, bastard.

Then I was dropped onto the concrete and got my hair ruffled. Like I was their personal pet Chihuahua.

"Fuku-buchou!" The two bowed their heads in respect. So did I. Because the two hoodlums both had a hand on my head and pressing down with enough force to dislocate my neck. I twisted and squirmed under their steel grip. "We're just welcoming the freshman!"

"Hanase!" I growled between my teeth. (_A/N: Let go!)_

Since Rikkaidai didn't have a coach for any school teams. (Either the teachers are just lazy or they really hate our guts.) Buchou and fuku-buchou are given the power above other students. Power that is on par with the student council. (Although that is not the reason why I want to be a regular. I deserve to be a regular simply because I _am_ an ace.)

It was a given that everyone gave respect to people above your power station.

It was also a given that I would try to go around the rules and use them to my advantage.

Not that I needed to cheat that often. I am the Rikkaidai ace afterall.

Yukimura fuku-buchou didn't look very happy. That was an understatement. Yukimura-senpai was always smiling, so when his mouth twisted downwards, it meant the sky is falling and everyone else is still building bomb shelters. Even Nakayama-buchou is defeated by the 'frown' TM.

That was what the rumor mill whispered. I never quite took them seriously, but the two idiots definitely did.

Yukimura's smile turned another degree downwards and the two started sweating buckets. It didn't feel nice being the bucket.

"Yamero!" _(A/N: Stop!) _I spoke again, a little louder and tried to yank their sweating hands off my arms and head. They gripped harder, bruise-inducing hard. I winced.

Yukimura fuku-buchou's frowned deepened. "Let him go and fifty laps around the court tomorrow."

I smelt a stinky sigh of relief and the gripped loosened a fraction. I shot off, picking up my racket where it fell on the ground and took three steps around fuku-buchou to pick up my bag.

"Daijoubu ka?" _(A/N: Are you alright?) _A soft melodic voice echoed from behind me. I shrugged. Fuku-buchou sounded really nice and pleasant, not at all like the harsh, mocking tone that I usually got from seniors.

It was different. I blinked then muttered a soft, "Daijoubu." _(A/N: I'm fine.) _I'm as fine as anyone could be after a little roughhousing with people twice your size. This is turning out to be a really bad day.

Any day without a real tennis match is bad. I think my skills just went down a notch.

Wait. This is my fuku-buchou standing next to me right? My tennis club's fuku-buchou? I slapped myself mentally at my stupidity, mentally because my head still hurts from being squeezed.

"Ne. Yukimura fuku-buchou?"

Yukimura's face lit up with a friendly smile. Well, at least that look is normal.

"Let's play a match." I declared with confidence. Since he's just the fuku-buchou of the four idiots and I'm the Rikkaidai ace, the outcome has already been decided. I'm going to win with a love match and take over the position of fuku-buchou, then knuckle-serve to buchou until he looks like one of the four idiots, then I'm going to be buchou and I _don't have to do anymore horrible ballpicking!_ (And then I'm going to sweep all tennis titles, become a millionaire and retire to Hawaii with a life-time supply of chocolate sundaes.)

I smiled broadly at the thought. Yukimura fuku-buchou smiled back at me. What a sucker.

"Sure Kirihara-kun." Yukimura's eyes sparkled. It made me feel almost guilty to take his spot on the team.

ooOOOoo

30 minutes later found a half-dead and completely humiliated me panting on the court.

The girly guy just completely massacred me on the court, 6-0. I didn't even score a single game from him.

I guess those rumors were true. Yukimura is _scary._ Face of an angel; ruthless as a Nazi. A bakemone (A/N: _monster) _in the world of living innocents.

But…Kirihara Akaya won't give up that easily!

This is a bakemone that I will conquer. Then I'll be the hero (and ace) of the tennis world!

"Fuku-buchou..." I got up unsteadily on my feet using my racket for support. The teen smiled at me, dark eyes showing their concern. I bristled a little at the fact that he looked perfectly unruffled and unwinded. Just how much was he holding back? "I'm going to beat you one day!"

Yukimura fuku-buchou's smile grew bigger and his eyes glinted with amusement. I pouted. Damn him. Why couldn't he take me seriously? I'm definitely going to be training much harder just to wipe that stupid smile off his face.

"Hai, I'm sure you'll be able to _one day_, Akaya-kun."

Why does that sound more like an insult than a compliment? And since when did I give him permission to call me by my first name? I pouted some more and zipped up my belongings and racket. What a horrible day. I finally got my tennis match and was completely slaughtered, humiliated by a girly guy.

"Akaya-kun," Yukimura's voice floated from behind me. Even his voice was girly. "It's late. Let's go get dinner together."

That wasn't what I expected. I thought I was going to get more laps since I challenged fuku-buchou without permission. Maybe I could take advantage in this and get some blackmail material on him. I chuckled at the thought of fuku-buchou on his knees begging me take over his position on the team.

"Okay! But you're paying!" Yukimura fuku-buchou nodded in compliance, eyes still sparkling in friendliness, hands twitching around his tennis bag.

I grinned back at him, my mind already planning to treat myself to the most expensive restaurant and have five of their famous chocolate caramel sundae somewhere downtown. Well, he's paying right? So what if it costs 10,000 yen? My grin widened.

I smiled brightly at him - the smile that saved me from detention all the time. "Arigato Yukimura-senpai! Let's go!" I turned my back to him, which is something a regretted moments later.

Something jumped from behind and landed on my back, held my arms down and squeezed my lungs into water. I choked back a cry and wheezed out, "Hanase!"

Arms tightened around me. "Demo...Aka-chan wa kawaii!" (A/N: _but...Aka-chan is cute)_ I didn't know fuku-buchou could squeal but he did. I'm not lying! It was an high-pitched squeal you'd expect from your 7-year old sister with barbie dolls.

"F-fuku-buchou! Y-yamero!"

"Wa--h! Kawaii!"

Deep wheeze.

"C-can't breath..."

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To be continued… 

A/N: Beh…stupid ending. But I didn't want to leave a cliffhanger.

Aka-chan looks like a chocolate sundae person. Yukimura looks like a love-of-all-things-cute-and-fluffy person…and chibi Aka-chan would look cute with fluffy, curly hair…heh.

I didn't mean to make Yukimura so girly!! It's all in Aka-chan's mind and...his mind works in...peculiar ways.


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimers: Don't own. If I did, Ryoma and Akaya will be entering Seigaku together.

If only…if only…

**NOTE**: Rikkaidai will be a BOY'S school because CC says so. (and it makes a good plot and it's nice to torture Aka-chan that way.) Is Rikkaidai a boy's school? Can someone tell me please?

**NOTE**: CC will explain their character quirks later in the story so please bear with me…I tend to update really slowly…unless it's a story that I actually like…(as you can see, I'm currently a total Aka-chan fan...)

**NOTE**: CC will also try to squash in as many Rikkaidai regulars as possible. Poor Aka-chan, he can't hog the spotlight anymore.

* * *

**Chapter 2 – Ayaka-chan!!**

_(Kirihara's POV)_

Some people have _it._

Most people don't.

Some people have it in buckets. (like me.)

Most people I've met have it in the negatives.

Few people have it by the motherload. And the one in our school was all over the school gates.

I just never realized how much Yukimura fuku-buchou had until I found myself face-to-face with him plastered all over the school gates the next morning. (You can't really blame me, I only knew him for 3 hours. And all he did was smile and tell me that 3 chocolate sundaes wasn't a healthy dinner and forced me to eat a green salad.)

He was literally all OVER the school gates.

Tiny smiling ones.

Big smiling ones.

Medium-sized smiling ones.

They were all smiling that famous smile of his.

And they were going for 500 yen as a set.

I gawked at the sight.

In front of this Yukimura shrine was a large crowd. Smartly dressed students gathered around this chocolate-skinned, bald person (who tried to hide the fact that he was bald by putting on a bandana made from a mutated carrot). A person who looked more at home in an African jungle atop an elephant wearing some leafy thong (and his mutated carrot-skin bandana) than in a respectable Japanese school in Rikkaidai uniform.

Are all boys' school like this?

I walked past the mob of Yukimura worshipers with my nose in the air, a lot more dignified that the drooling dogs around me.

When I take over as fuku-buchou, my picture won't be going for a measly 500 yen! It'll be at least 5000 yen! And I'll be raking in the profit, unlike Yukimura who's probably too nice not to ask for a certain percentage.

I was walking past the school gates when a black-capped boy rushed past the gates, screaming something about 'Yukimura-sama' and 'tainted' and 'dinosaurs'. He wasn't articulate because everyone just looked at him confused. Maybe he has a speech problem?

Then much to my amusement, the black-capped boy bitch-slapped the African carrot.

A shocked silence.

Then a frantic scrambling as the mob of Yukimura fans scurried off. I guess the saying that action spoke louder than words was proven true again.

I smirked.

I just couldn't resist. You only live once. So I must without regrets.

"Ne, ne, senpai." I put on my best puppy-eyed traumatized look on my face as I tugged on the sleeve of the tall, black-capped student. I lowered my voice and tipped my toes so only he could hear. "He said he's going to sell photos of Yukimura-senpai in the shower at lunchtime." I shuddered to add to the realism.

The instantaneous effect was better than I expected. (But not as great as the time I set fireworks off by Jiji's front door during exam week.)

Black cap burned a traffic light red; African carrot turned a traffic light pale green.

Black cap clenched his fist and jaw; African carrot clenched his posters and money.

I smiled innocently in anticipation. This should be a good fight. I liked a good fight. I liked them even more when I'm not involved as the punching bag.

I stepped back amongst the safety of curious bystanders. If anything happens, I'll just use one of them as a shield.

It turned out to be a disappointment, probably due to some miscalculation on my part on the fighting spirit of carrots. (Nobody's perfect afterall. But I'm close to it since I am the Rikkaidai ace.)

Black cap slapped the other so hard, the African carrot KO-ed.

I pouted. That was too easy. I guess it's too much to wish a vegetable to put up a decent fight. Maybe black cap thought of the same thing since he just kept slapping the dead vegetable, presumably to 'wake' him up but all he was doing was darkening the already bruised cheeks.

I wandered off to school. I had much better things to do than watching someone killing vegetables.

oooOOOooo

The elite class of Rikkaidai Junior High is 1-1. Being naturally an ace I ended up there, and not in 1-2, 1-3 or 1-4 where the common, ordinary, brain-dead people go.

I sat down in my reserved spot in the back by the window. (It was reserved after a quick scuffle and a kick at some nerd in class.) It was a great spot for daydreaming and I've got window to throw rubbish down onto the lucky P.E group during class.

Everyone around me shuffled a little bit further away from my corner. I smirked. It feels so good to be at the top of the class!

Today's going to be a good day! I can feel it!

10 minutes later, I was cursing kami-sama. Didn't I suffer enough yesterday already? Did all the teachers decide it was a 'pick-on-Kirihara' week instead of it being a 24-hour thing?

I pouted and slunk down low on my seat, trying to hide from the hawk-gaze of my English teacher behind my book.

Like yesterday, it didn't work today. (Yesterday was horrible. I didn't even get my 15-minute power nap in _any_ class. I couldn't even _daydream _about beating everyone in tennis and eating chocolate sundaes! And I missed a _golden_ opportunity of knocking someone's lunch onto the head teacher.)

Either they're just really obsessed in making me trip over my tongue and make me look bad. (Which they failed since I managed to answer every single question right. I am the Rikkaidai ace. It's no big deal.)

Or, they're just obsessed in _me. _I think it's the former. I don't think Ka-san's fame as a fashion designer has spread into menswear yet. Perhaps my teachers (they're all male) are obsessed with women's clothing?

"Kirihara-kun. Please translate the last four sentences into Japanese."

I gave a silent sigh and translated it. It sounded really stupid. Why would I care if the tiger was on fire? Even the author was stupid. He even spelled tiger wrong.

"Kirihara-kun. Solve question six please."

"Kirihara-kun. What happened at the end of the Edo period?"

That continued until lunchtime, which found a very irritated me leaving the classroom, after ordering some rich wimp to buy me my lunch. I deserve something better than cafeteria food after an entire morning of interrogation.

I ran all the way to the science lab (snatching some bubblegum from a wannabe punk on the way. The boy was such a ditz he didn't even notice) to snitch something dead off the shelf and add it into my teacher's bento.

Serves them right for making me stay awake for the whole class.

I reached the lab with the grace and speed of a panther and successfully snuck inside. Our school lab was filled with all the modern technology that no simple, public, Japanese middle school could afford. But since Rikkaidai was an elite school, affiliated with Rikkaidai University, the lab was very well stocked, especially in the beginning of the school year.

I goggled at the ugly floating naked toad, the bleached body of a tapeworm – both too slimy to touch. Both so irresistible. It would've been great if I had one of those and accidentally spilled it into someone's school bag.

Then I saw _it._

An entire refrigerated cabinet filled with tempting labeled bottles and test tubes of all shapes, sizes, colour and matter that promised many nasty-tasting substances and wondrous explosions.

It's such a good day today!

I smiled happily and randomly took several tempting, colorful bottles, and a few not so colorful ones with gray lumps inside, knowing from experience that the most uninteresting ones have the best reaction. It would be _so sugoi_ if I could booby trap the door to have loud explosions and skin dying substances, and have it all pour on Bakayama-buchou. **(1)**

I chuckled to myself and stuffed more of those floating lumpy things into my blazer.

"What are you laughing at Ayaka-chan?" **(2)**

I whirled around, nearly dropping a bottle of acid on myself. "Gah!! Jiji! Don't call me that name!" **(3)**

Jiji's lips turned up a notch. That was really the only way I could tell what he was thinking since Jiji's closed eyes don't change at all. Maybe Jiji doesn't have eyes at all and those half-moon lines are just drawn.

But…wouldn't that make him one of those faceless ghosts with long dripping wet hair?

I shuddered, because that suddenly made a lot of sense. How else can Jiji sneak around without me noticing if he wasn't a ghost?

"Ayaka-chan." Jiji drew out the 'chan' and the 'aya', which I totally hate, since no matter which star he wished on, I'm still going to be a boy, not a _girl. _"I thought I'd stop you first since there's a 76 percent chance of you trying to poison one of your teachers."

Don't you hate it when someone knows you so well, every single step of your thought process turns into a simple percentage?

"And there's a 66 percent chance you'd be sneaking in the laboratory at the beginning of the school year to stock up." Jiji finished, prying my fingers off the small, toxic bottles of fun. I pouted at my loss. It wasn't fair when 'an eye for an eye' doesn't happen. (I guess that saying can never happen around Jiji since he doesn't have eyes.)

Jiji placed the last bottle into the cabinet and closed with creak of finality.

I looked longingly at the forbidden bottles with a sigh. There goes my entire year of fun. (I found out that borrowing things at the beginning of the school term is the best because they still haven't ran an inventory list yet. I was never caught of course, since I'm an ace. But somebody else of lesser intellect was suspended.)

Jiji must have noticed my depressed mood because he ruffled my hair and said, "I made an extra bento for you since you never bring one to school." Jiji always knew the right words to say. Placated, I followed Jiji to collect my reward for not breaking the school rules for now.

Jiji's bento always included home-made chocolate pudding that's so delicious it's to die for. Literally. A few months ago, someone drove their bike off the bridge because of Jiji's chocolate pudding. It's all Jiji's fault for telling me that he's going to have a friend over, which meant less pudding for me. (Chocolate sundae is still my first love, but Jiji's pudding always give me second thoughts for at least 10 minutes after I finished it.)

oooOOOooo

We settled down on the roof along with a 4-eyed guy. It was a breezy place that nobody ever ventures because of the 'no entry' and 'alarm will sound' sign on the door. Jiji told me that the alarm had been broken for a while already, but he was smiling when he said that, so I wasn't sure if he was the one who did the deed a while ago.

It's no use asking and I didn't want to loose my chocolate pudding.

I followed Jiji and his 4-eyed friend and sat down next to him.

"Ayaka-chan, this is Yagyuu Hiroshi." Jiji introduced us briefly, taking out two bentos.

I growled at the name but didn't bother correcting him. I'll do that after I got my chocolate pudding safely away from Jiji's hostage.

"Yagyuu-san, Kirihara Akaya."

Jiji got my name right for once. I stopped growling at Jiji to prove that I'm worthy of the chocolate pudding and gave Yagyuu-senpai a forced smile.

Yagyuu-senpai's face rivaled that of a concrete. (Why concrete? Because concrete doesn't change or weather as much as rock. I doubt Yagyuu-senpai knew he had facial muscles since he didn't induce a single muscle twitch at Jiji or me.)

I didn't dwell on it much since Jiji handed me my bento. In the battle of chocolate pudding and Yagyuu-senapi, the victor will always be chocolate pudding.

I reached for my spoon but Jiji took it away from me first. I really hate it when he does that, especially since he's much taller than me. He held it out of my reach, smacked my failing arms with the other, and told me coolly that I had to finish everything else in the bento first.

"Finish everything else first Ayaka-chan. Then I'll let you have Yagyuu-san's pudding as well." Jiji's placid smile didn't match the stern look from behind his eye slits. (I still don't know how he does it so well. How can you read emotions from someone's eyes when they don't have them?)

I nodded grudgingly then peered at Yagyuu-senpai. His concrete face didn't change at all. Obviously his taste buds must also be made from concrete if he doesn't know the gloriousness of chocolate pudding.

I think I'll like eating with Yagyuu-senpai a lot.

But just in case he decided to change his mind about the chocolate pudding…

"Arigatou Yagyuu-senpai!" I beamed my full Akaya-patented smile at him, and I swore, for just one millisecond, the concrete cracked a small smile.

**TBC**

* * *

CC's notes nicknames:

**(1)** _Bakayama-buchou_. Derived from Nakayama-buchou. Basically means stupid or idiotic mountain.

**(2)** _Ayaka-chan_ is a girl's name. Derived from Akaya after you swapped around two consonants. Explanation will be in future chapters.

**(3)** _Jiji_. Derived from Yanagi Ren**JI**. Ojisan means old man, Jiji also means old man.

CC's other notes:

I figured Akaya shouldn't be dumb. If he goes about his studies the same way as he does in tennis, he should be pretty smart. He calls Yagyuu, "Yagyuu-senpai" because he wants the pudding, not because he's polite. FYI - Kirihara loves anything chocolate-ty and cold (and with an umbrella).

Yukimura is the 'idol' of the school. I'm sure you've all figured that out. Every school has at least one. This school just happens to be a little more idol-crazy.

In the manga, (CC thinks) Akaya did defend Yanagi from getting slapped by Sanada. So CC decides to expand that a bit more, since Akaya didn't seem like a person who would protect just _anyone_.

Japanese words:

Sugoi - cool

Arigatou - thank you

**A/N:** No cliffies yet, since I'm so nice. Don't I deserve a nice long rant from you?

(pokes at button below)


	3. Chapter 3

CC's conclusion from reviews: Rikkaidai was a both gender school, until CC became the principal.

Kirihara hugs all those who reviewed!!

Does anyone have any good ideas on the title? CC wants to change the current sucky title to a better one…

Can someone please tell me when exactly does the school year in Japan start? Is it in January or in September…or neither?

Warnings: Accused pedophile who's not a pedophile, stupid senpais, and Akaya.

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**Chapter 3 – Bunny-senpai**

Kirihara's POV

"Aka-chan!" Aside from Ka-san, there's only one other person who calls me by that despicable name. I tried to discreetly hide myself behind Jiji, who moved aside at the last minute so Yukimura fuku-buchou's arms snagged me inwards with the force of a whirlpool. I was sucked right into the middle.

I choked, waved my arms reminiscent of a drowning man. Jiji stood aside wearing that placid (and infuriating) smile of his, as I got completely crushed (again) by an overly enthusiastic fuku-buchou, much to the jealousy of the entire Rikkaidai Yukimura fan population, which is basically one third of the entire school population.

"Jiji…" I choked, giving him my Akaya-puppy eyes TM that nobody could resist.

Jiji wasn't a nobody so he couldn't resist it at all. (Unlike Bakayama-buchou who was a nobody and couldn't even feel the effects of the ultra-super-brilliant Yukimura-smile TM. He must have a single-cell brain.)

"Yukimura-kun." Jiji began. I started my struggle anew, indicating that if Jiji doesn't rescue me soon, he'll have a dead Ayaka-chan. "I heard that Sanada-kun might be suspended for fighting in front of the school."

That piqued my interest enough not to notice that fuku-buchou immediately stopped in his vehement petting and frowned.

_That_ piqued my interest even more, since it caused all his 'fans' to scurry away and the entire tennis team (except for innocently stupid first-years) to take a step back and hurried to another court.

Naturally, being the Rikkaidai ace I was completely unruffled at this event. "What did he do, Jiji?" I asked. I wanted to know exactly how I missed out on such a great showmanship of combat and entertainment. And somebody suspended! That sounded like a good fight…

"Dislocated Kuwahara-kun's jaw."

Fuku-buchou's frown turned down another degree.

Mine turned up a few degrees.

I watched with big eyes as the tennis team scrambled into a further court, wondering if someday I'd be able to get the same effect. That would be so sugoi. I wouldn't ever need to kick anyone for a good seat anymore.

"I'm going to look for Gen-kun." Yukimura fuku-buchou ruffled my hair for the last time and stepped off the court, presumably to going to the school office. (What's with the obsession with curly hair? I know I'm irresistible but please lay off with the hair!!)

Jiji smiled to me and patted me on the head. Jiji found curly hair irresistible too.

I followed him off the court and into a neighboring court where all the cowards had fled.

"This is Marui Bunta, Ayaka-chan. You'll be working with him a lot since you both need to improve your stamina."

A familiar-looking wannabe punk popped a pink bubble and squinted at me from behind it. I know from Ka-san that 'pink is the new black' but this guy in front of me definitely overdid it. Even his shirt, racket and shoes were sparkly pink. (He didn't look as ridiculous in our black school uniform when I swiped bubblegum from him.)

Maybe he's colorblind like Jiji?

Pinkie was being his ditzy self and didn't recognize me. At all.

I pouted a little. Some small part in me thought I should get credit for breaking my new record in a 'sprint and steal sweets', also known as SASS.

"Shouldn't first-years be ball-picking for a genius like me?" Pinkie had the gall to raise an eyebrow and pop a bubble at my face.

I decide right then and there, that I'll beat the stuffing out of him with my knuckle serve. As if an ace like me would pick up balls for a rude, brain-dead pink-obsessed being like him.

Jiji quickly covered my mouth with one hand and used the other to guide my hand away from my racket. I really hate how he knows me so well. There's got to be some way to prove his data wrong!

I growled, which was muffled because Jiji somehow managed to cover all possible cracks for sound wave transmission.

"Warm up first with 20 laps around the court." Jiji smiled calmly at us.

"Fuku-buchou put you in charge again?" Marui popped another bubble.

Jiji smiled in that infuriating way of his. The one that said clearly, 'you don't have to know because you're still an aka-chan.'

"Laps are so boring. Can't you think of something else?" Pinkie actually has a good point. Laps _are_ boring. Laps are as boring as watching grass grow.

"Mou…I hate laps." I added my two cents and a pout.

"Whoever finishes first can have this coupon for 'Snowflake Village.'" **(1)**

Pinkie and I took off in a running sprint.

I guess I'll forget about proving Jiji's data wrong. It wouldn't do me any good if he stops dishing out chocolate pudding and sundae coupons.

oooOOOooo

It turned into a frantic race. A race between Pinkie and I against the 4 hairy gorillas I'd beaten up yesterday.

Actually, it was the pink bimbo who started it all. I only claim credit for egging him on.

The 4 gorillas, probably still feeling sore losing to a freshman like me, were 3rd years. (Something that completely slipped my mind when I battled courageously against them and wiped the court with their ass.)

They were understandably annoyed that Marui and I sped past them like racecars and started chasing (snarling and dripping froth because they were that crazed) after us, screaming some nonsense about getting their honor back. (That made utterly no sense since they don't have any in the first place. Maybe they meant self-esteem?)

Marui didn't appear to like them either when they started screaming 'sugarfreak' and 'dokuo.' **(2)** Taking the initiative, I handled him a racket and a ball that I swiped from a slow, idiotic first year. He scored a direct hit onto one of the uglies' broken nose.

I laughed at his howl of defeat and urged Marui to do it again. I really love fights that don't require me to do the dirty work.

He did. The second perfectly aimed shot hit a gorilla's knee and he face-vaulted, bringing down 2 monkeys with him, while the remaining one tripped over them and planted his face in the fence. I was laughing too hard to run straight for a moment since when the loser got up, his face looked like it's been grilled. Red and steaming with brown criss-cross lines.

That started the chase. Jiji seemed to be having more fun about it than us. He's muttering 'kaku' under his breath every time Marui and I raced by and gave odd, evil crackles. (Further evidence that he is a yuurei since he obviously speaks some non-human speech that Marui and I can't understand.) **(3)**

And somewhere between halfway of those laps, Marui and I had bonded with each other over the humiliation on our upper-classmen and started hurling insults ('Steak-face and King Kong') and tennis balls ('I think the steak needs more salt and pepper Marui-senpai') behind us in synchrony.

I found out that Marui didn't like those 4 gorillas either. He claimed they must have stolen his bubblegum during lunchtime. I didn't have the heart to correct him that I stole it. We were getting on quite well and he had already agreed to share Jiji's coupon with me.

After 20 or so minutes of suicidal sprinting, (it would have been _truly_ suicidal if Bakayama or fuku-buchou were there, luckily Bakayama was too much a baka to find his way to the courts, and fuku-buchou was busy with his _Gen-kun_) Marui and I dashed back to Jiji. (He was the human finishing line afterall. Plus, the 4 gorillas are afraid of Jiji. Must have been all that ghost-language Jiji was sprouting.)

Jiji stood with his ever-present notepad and his ever-astute smile and neatly stepped towards the left when Marui leapt for his coupon like a rabid rabbit.

Being the Rikkaidai ace, I had expected that and have skidded to a halt directly in front of Jiji in glowing anticipation.

He patted my curls (because like everyone else, nobody could resist naturally curly hair, not even fuku-buchou) and handed me the coupon. Somewhere on the ground, Marui let out a muffled whine of defeat, face still stuck on the tennis court.

"Play nice with your kohai Marui-san." Jiji smiled as I basked under the delight of a buy 2 get 1 free coupon.

Marui glared under his pink locks and huffed.

I chuckled at Marui's forgetfulness and stupidity. "We are going to share the coupon right Marui-senpai?"

He immediately brightened up and popped a bubble to show it.

"Jiji, are you coming with us?" Jiji just smiled and scribbled some more in that precious notepad of his.

"Just to make sure both of you don't get lost, if anything."

A smile broke from my face. If all goes well, I can wheedle Jiji to give us another coupon. Then Marui and I can buy 6 sundaes each! (And since I'm the one to obtain the second coupon, it would make sense if Marui paid for all of it right?)

oooOOOooo

Jiji followed us all the way to Akihabara, to make sure we stayed together, or to make sure that we didn't get into trouble, or to make sure nobody got left behind by accident. It was just past 5 when we got there and the crowd was beginning to flock in. I quickly dragged Marui to the nearest game store to see if the "God of War III" is on sale. (It wasn't and wouldn't for at least another half year. Useless shopkeeper.) **(4)**

Then Marui dragged me into a cake shop where we spent 10 minutes arguing whether strawberry shortcake tastes better than black forest cherry cake. (It doesn't! Black forest cake always tastes better than a cheap strawberry! Even the name sounds grander!)

Then I dragged Marui into another game shop, just to make sure that the first shopkeeper wasn't lying to me. I got the same answer as the first shop and he added that little children shouldn't be playing such gory games. Perhaps I would like to 'take a look at his Super Monkey Balls instead?' **(5)**

Marui looked quite offended at that. (Marui, it turned out, knew little about video games but knew a lot about pocky flavors.) He completely misinterpreted the storekeeper and screeched back, "Keep your hairy, monkey balls inside your pants, you pedophile freak!"

He snatched my hand and stomped out of the store, pulling me behind him and leaving behind accusing stares and a flustered storekeeper.

I burst out laughing. "B-Bunny-senpai! T-that was great!"

Marui's anger ebbed quickly, just like his namesake. (Rabbit's attention span is short like Marui-senpai's.) "It's Bunta, Aka-chan! Bunta-senpai!"

I was still laughing too hard to answer him.

Marui popped a bubble in frustration. "But he's going to display his monkey balls!" He accused.

I keeled over, breathless, stomach aching from laughing. Marui really was a bunny. He's as stupid as one.

"I think you just killed the gaki, Bunta." A blue-haired punk smirked at us. He was dressed Rikkaidai's uniform, shirt untucked and open, revealing the skull T-shirt underneath, with a large tennis bag slung over one shoulder. I hadn't seen him in school before, neither had I seen him during practice. **(6)**

Marui's face darkened. "Niou! Give me back the 2000-yen you owe me! And I didn't kill Aka-chan! He killed himself!"

So blue-haired punk is Niou. Why are there so many punks and bakemone in my school?

"I didn't kill myself." I pouted. I'm not a yuurei like Jiji.

Speaking of which…

"Where's Jiji?"

Two blank, confused stares met me. So where's the third?

I looked around us at the milling teenagers, the game addicts and the sobbing, pedophilic storekeeper. I looked behind the trashcans, the dead trees and the manga bookstands. I looked at nearby rooftops, the tops of trees and behind the neon light stands – basically all the places where you'd expect to find a yuurei. Still no Jiji.

I always knew walking around with your eyes closed would get you in trouble one day.

TBC…

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CC's notes on nicknames (just in case someone likes to read stories from back to front, if you're one of them, you are very odd indeed.): 

Ayaka-chan - Akaya Kirihara (Yanagi's pet name for Akaya)

Aka-chan - means baby - Akaya Kirihara (Yukimura's pet name for his…human pet. Marui calls him this too.)

Jiji - means old man - Yanagi Renji

Bakayama - Nakayama buchou

Bunny - Marui **BUN**ta

A/N:

(1) - Snowflake Village is a shop in Akihabara (manga and game district) that sells a dessert that tastes like ice-cream but feels like light, powdery snow. Very popular, very cheap, and very delicious.

(2) - dokuo – means loser, geek, male virgin, lonely heart (CC got this from a Japanese dictionary)

(3) – yurrei –ghost

- kaku – derived from 'kakuhou' which means data or material. Data is to Inui. Kaku is to Yanagi. (CC thinks kaku sounds a lot better than data. It almost sounds pokemonish!)

(4) – God of War – A very bloody, gory action, mythology game that's really really good. CC doesn't know if there's going to be a God of War III but since the first 2 is quite successful, CC will just go along with the idea that there will be one.

(5) – Super Monkey Ball – CC is referring to more than one game (they have a deluxe version hence the plural form above) It's actually a good game, fast-paced with a monkey rolling inside a ball. It just has a weird name.

(6) – gaki – Japanese for brat

Other A/N:

Akaya likes violent games, green tea (or so says in his biography) chocolate pudding and chocolate sundaes (or so says CC). CC agree that God of War is a little too gory for a little 12-year Aka-chan. It's rated M. (Monkey Ball is rated 'E' for everyone.) But since Kirihara is our dear little demon, he'd find a way to get his hands on it, considering he already owns the first 2. (CC wonders what the hell is wrong with Akaya's parents.)

Marui currently has 'pink' hair because Akaya has very good eyesight and is able to distinguish 'dark pink' from blood red. Explanation in future chapter.

The last few paragraphs are a little rushed. CC apologizes. It's Marui's fault! His bunny's brain couldn't hold that many information at one time, so he 'jumps.' (CC kicks David-san for his contribution of bad puns)


	4. Chapter 4

Japan School year starts in APRIL!!!!! Many thanks to whoever saved CC from bashing head on wall from frustration!! (CC couldn't figure it out for the longest time…)

Thanks for all your reviews! CC is glad to know Aka-chan is still loved… (gives everyone Akaya-plushie)

Sorry about the Kuwabara / Kuwahara mix up. Thanks to whoever caught it! (It says Kuwabara J. in here if you do search character...so I just followed along… oops)

**NOTE:** Someone asked about Renji's and Akaya's relationship / past…CC will be explaining that in future chapters. Probably as an extra side-story. Unfortunately, you'll have to wait until I've introduced another character.

**WARNINGS:** Faux cross-dressing (not really), half-dead bunnies and Akaya (because he should come with a warning sign.)

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**Chapter 4 – Jenny-senpai?**

Kirihara's POV

We found Jiji in Snowflake Village harassing a short-haired waitress.

I really didn't know he had it in him. I mean, he's _Jiji. _I'd understand if he harasses a librarian or a geeky professor, maybe even a computer, but not a waitress. It makes as much sense as calling Yukimura-fukubuchou an ugly ogre.

"Didn't know Yanagi liked that type." Marui muttered under this breath.

Niou's eyes took on a devilish gleam.

I inched closer to Marui.

"What are you still doing here Niou?" Marui popped a bubble in annoyance as he swung the door open to the dessert shop. I dashed inside first, making sure Marui was between me and Niou and ran towards safety. Niou's manic grin is giving me the creeps, which doesn't make sense since I'm the Rikkaidai ace who's not scared of any bakemone (and who's going to sweep all tennis titles and retire off in Hawaii with my life-time supply of chocolate sundaes with the umbrellas.)

Niou smirked. "I'm here to give support to our dearest _Jenny_." I could practically see the evil aura around.

Marui, being the bunny, didn't notice that everyone with brilliant insight standing close to Niou had already scurried away.

Since I'm the _brilliant_ Rikkaidai ace, I scurried off towards Jiji. If it all works out, I'll have him pay for our sundaes and have him chase away Niou. Nothing's quite as scary as an angry yuurei. (I've seen first-years actually run away from him when he starts laughing. I don't think anyone can beat that.)

I plastered my most relieved look on my face and grappled Jiji's neck. "Jiji! I thought you got trampled over since noone could see you! Where did you go?"

"Ayaka-chan." Jiji pried my fingers off his neck. "There's a 98.91 percent that you'd make your way here even if you did get lost on the way." He ruffled my hair and scooted over so I could sit next to him. I endured it, because I want my free sundae. (It's better to save my money for leaner times when Jiji couldn't go with me.)

Marui bounced over, slid in quickly on the other side, took one look at the waitress and screeched.

"Yiiii-----! What the hell happened to you?!" That was belted out in a horrified way that was somewhat akin to what a bunny would sound like before it got ran over by a truck. (Although, I don't think bunnies can make any sound. At least the bunny last year didn't. Not even when I showed him the book of 'Bunny Suicides' and tried to stick him into a toaster. Stupid bunny was too fat and didn't fit.) **(1)**

I peered at the source of the bunny-shriek – the waitress. It wasn't the first time I've seen a boy cross-dressing. But it was the slapping black cap from this morning. That was enough to make me loosen my jaw.

He was wearing a long, frilly apron that had too much lace and dangling snowflakes, with a matching snowflake print hat. I guess he hasn't got the hang of cross-dressing yet. He doesn't appear to be wearing anything underneath his apron. Any smart male knows not to wear shorts underneath long aprons.

"Jenny-chan." Niou drawled and smirked at the flushing 'waitress.' "Ran into some problem with your boyfriend?" **(2)**

Jenny looked like he wanted to slap Niou too but restrained himself. I tried not to chuckle at his murderous, PMSing frown. Someone had taken initiative to put silver glitter around his eyes and clipped his hat down with glittery, snowflake clips. It made Jenny's glare 100 times less effective than this morning. (Try to imagine a glittery silver snail with snowflake earings glaring at you and that's about as effective as Jenny's stare.)

"May I take your orders?" Jenny growled, whipping out an order pad and trying to act unperturbed. Jiji did the same, whipping out _his_ pad and trying to act like a person obsessed in writing yuurei. (I'm guessing he's writing in yuurei since it doesn't look like Japanese or English.)

Marui finally recovered from his roadkill experience. "I want everything you've got here!" He exclaimed brightly, drooling over the colorful photos of desserts in the menu.

While Jiji's frantically scribbled away, I tried to use his blazer to wipe Bunny mucus pooling on my side of the table. "I want a chocolate sundae, Jenny-senpai!"

I bit back my laughter as black cap's veins started to twitch. It's not my fault he didn't introduce himself. Didn't his parent's teach him any manners?

Niou's eyes gleamed a little brighter. "I'll have a _Yuki_-special, _Jenny-chan_." He drawled, letting his eyes rove up and down Jenny's outfit a little too obvious even for me. I don't think Jenny liked his type. (Jenny's type is probably a stuffy, stern person with no vocabulary under 4 syllables.)

Jenny gritted his teeth and stalked away like an angry snow princess, taking with him the menu (and bunny mucus.)

Marui looked a little lost without his menu and went back at popping his gum. (Like I said before, he has a really short attention span. Like a bunny.)

There was a moment of silence. I guess everyone's still a little unnerved at Jenny's fabulous getup.

"I'm not making Yukimura mad. Ever." Marui broke the silence first with a determined voice.

Niou smirked for no reason.

"He'd probably look better in that getup." Jiji said. Warning bells! I didn't like where this conversation is heading. (If you have a Ka-san like mine, you'd want to steer clear of it too.)

I nudged Jiji under the table before he opened his big mouth to blab more.

He smiled and snapped his notepad shut. Then reached over to ruffle my hair. (Not again with hair? What's wrong with having curly hair?)

"What does fuku-buchou have to do with this?" I tried to evade Jiji's wandering hands without falling off the seat. It proved impossible. I fell off gracefully.

"Everything Ayaka-chan. You'll know when you get older."

I crossed my arms and fumed. I hate it when Jiji explains things like that. It's not like he's that much older than me anyway.

oooOOOooo

After a very satisfying meal (Jenny paid for it. He said Yukimura was treating us. Fuku-buchou's really nice. Maybe I'll consider having him as fuku-buchou after I beat up Bakayama.) all 4 of us took the bus home. We sat on the back row, since Jiji liked to observe passengers around him. Although I don't know why he needed statistics on people he's never going to meet again.

Niou seemed to be in a hurry to 'cheer up Jackal'. He kept saying something like '50 percent commission' and 'a real seller'. I don't understand him at all, so I tuned him out.

Bunny tuned him out too. He kept talking over Niou about the 'Monkey ball pervert' or 'Yukimura's sweetheart'- whoever she is, and how they were both pedophiles.

"Technically," Jiji said in his Professor tone. He only used it when tutoring me in Math, which I hate. All those numbers make my head ache. "Sanada-san (Oh. So Jenny's name is Sanada. Sanada Jenny. Weird name for a weirdo. It sounds right.) couldn't be a pedophile because he's the same age as Yukimura-kun. And the shopkeeper is an exhibitionist not a pedophile. He didn't molest Ayaka-chan."

"It's Akaya." I corrected Jiji.

Jiji ignored it as usual. Bunny just looked confused.

Niou sniggered at the bunny. "Don't mind Yanagi. You'll overheat your brain."

It was already a bit late for that. Bunny's face matched his hair and his sparkly pink shoes. "But he's thinking of molesting Aka-chan! And if Sanada's not a pedophile now, he's going to become one when he grows up. That means they're both PEDOPHILES! I'm such a genius!" Bunny crowed triumphantly, pumping his hand in the air to 'wow' us (and the entire bus) with his brilliant power of deduction.

There was another moment of silence as the entire bus turned to look at the pink-haired teenager. So did I. I couldn't help but be a little surprised that Bunny-senpai actually made a lot of sense. (More so than Jiji's statistics and rants on logarithms.)

Bunny's self-preservation skills kicked in. He glared at everybody, then pointedly stared at a stern-looking old man (who looked like he was suffering from acid reflux) sitting a few rows down away from us, huffed and sat down.

Point made, the entire bus turned their attention to the unfortunate stern-looking man. There was a quick musical chairs scramble and, five seconds later, the front of the bus was completely crowded, with mothers ushering their children towards the exit on the next stop.

Jiji gave a weird cackle and whipped out his notepad again. "Kaku…"

Niou did a Jiji-imitation of his own cackle. It was an imitation, so it wasn't as effective as Jiji's, but still creepy enough because it's _Jiji _he is imitating.

Then, I suddenly realized I'm surrounded by cackling half-baked cookies. I smiled and chuckled, feeling happy that they included me into their batch. It makes sense afterall, since I'm the one and only Rikkaidai ace. **(3)**

**TBC**

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**Nicknames (to refresh your (and CC's) memory since it tends to grow.)**

Akaya Kirihara - Aka-chan (baby) - Ayaka-chan

Yanagi Renji - Jiji (old man)

Marui Bunta - Bunny-senpai

Sanada Genichirou - Jenny

Nakayama-buchou - Bakayama (stupid mountain)

**Glossary (CC just realized it's needed)**

Ka-san - originates from Okasan - means mother - as usual Akaya tends to skip formalities

Kaku - data - Inui is to 'ii data'. Jiji is to 'kaku' (CC imagines them to be pokemon. squeals in delight)

**A/N:**

(1) Yiiiii - Eep or Argh in English. A meaningles, pointless scream. (CC got it from Sena-kun in Eyeshield 21. The little guy's so kawaii!!! Like Marui!!!)

(2) Jenny – CC actually had a difficult time trying to figure what name to give to Sanada. Luckily, Niou solved it for me. 'Gen' is pronounced as 'Jen' in Japanese ( I think…) Since he never introduced himself, Akaya just assumed Jenny is his first name. A girly name for someone who does girly slaps. Suitable right?

(3) Akaya admits he's not normal because he's an ace. There is a fine line between a genius and an idiot. However, if Jiji is in the group, it's got to be the former one. (That's what Akaya thinks.)

**Other A/N:**

The 'bus' scene was kind of a filler bit. CC cringes from admitting such a horrendous thing. But CC wanted so show Niou also belonged to part of the group, since the guy doesn't have a lot of lines. (He got less than he wanted…) And to show that Akaya sort of accepted him in the end.

Sanada (from the manga) seemed to have a traditional family, supported by his katana training. Therefore, if CC throws in the inherited genes and environmental factors, Sanada would prefer a traditional Japanese wife. Hence, Akaya isn't really far off from Sanada's ideal wife.

CC just wants to clarify that Akaya knows Jenny isn't cross-dressing. He's just wearing an apron over shorts, so it looks like he's wearing a wrapped around dress. As to why Akaya would know...well...CC will explain that in future chapters.

Basing on Akaya's personality, he's got to have 'The Book of Bunny Suicides' lying around somewhere! For those of you unfamiliar, it's a black comedy book on how to kill and maim rabbits in the worst way possible. (Once again, CC wonders exactly how Akaya's parents allowed their son keep that book. What's wrong with their parenting?) If it makes you bunny-lovers feel better…the toaster wasn't on when Aka-chan tried to stuff the rabbit inside. As for the 'last year' part, Aka-chan's class pet was a rabbit. He was in 6th Grade. (CC can't stop jaws from dropping at his youthfulness.)

Marui isn't really that dumb. He's smart enough to know how to push punishments on other (innocent) people.

CC now awaits patiently for you to rant and rave, cuss and criticize. (next chappie would hopefully be better...I don't really like this chappie...)


	5. Chapter 5

Thanks to all who reviewed!! Akaya hugs all who reviewed more than once!!!

CC has never updated so fast before! So don't expect another chappie anytime so soon…(CC needs to have a life and unwind...)

**NOTE:** Sanada's just star-struck with Yukimura (for now). But if you want to interpret it another way, it's fine too. CC figured there shouldn't be much slash until they actually have libidos. They're only 13 right?

**NOTE:** Japan schools days are Monday to Friday plus a half-day on Saturday. The half-day on Saturday is for club activities. (If it's not correct then please correct me!)

**WARNINGS:** Bad hair, exorcism, one _long_ monologue, and Akaya.

* * *

**Chapter 5 – Bad Hair Day**

Kirihara's POV

You know how once in a while, you get a bad hair day?

A really bad hair day that leads to a horrible start to a nasty, no-good day that drops you into the most agonizingly, painful situations?

Well, you're looking at the result of one.

"I'll tell you what happened." I sulked at my one and only audience. Satoshi-sensei smiled and grabbed a chair looking all too excited for someone in his occupation.

"I started the day late (I haven't been able to get up on time ever since the snooze button stopped working. What's the point in setting an alarm when the snooze doesn't work? Isn't the joy of sleeping is _knowing_ that you've overslept?)

"The day was hot and humid, summer settling in earlier than usual. I hate humid days. If you've got curly hair, you'll hate it too. It was sticking up more than usual and looked worse than that broomstick gaijin in the movie that Jiji dragged me to watch during summer. **(1)**

"I went to tennis practice looking (and feeling) like some blind cat had tried to knit a sweater from my hair and only succeeded in making knot after knot. (The comb kept getting stuck so I gave up. I think it lost a couple of teeth. Serves it right.)

"Yukimura-fukubuchou took one good look at me, squealed like a stuck pig and proceeded to spend half of early morning practice to untangle the mess.

""Aka-chan! Even your bedhair looks kawaii!" Yukimura-fukubuchou clutched a brush in one hand, my head in the other and managed to organize morning practice while brushing (and squealing) into my hair. (Bakayama-buchou was in charge of the third years and they were running laps all morning. Tells you a lot about his intelligence level. He couldn't even pull together a quick match.)

"I spent the next 20 minutes trying to escape fuku-buchou. I remembered that one time when I was running from the guard. (I guess some people just don't appreciate you helping them respray their door. It was already turd-colored! What's so wrong with spraying a turd pattern on it? The door was begging for it.) It was a lot easier running away from some chubby guard than someone as sleek and athletic as Yukimura-fukubuchou.

"So I was placed under unfriendly stares and glares for at least half the day from 33.33 percent of the school's population. (It's been such a bad hair day I'm actually starting to sound like Jiji! Excuse me while I tear my hair out for a while. Maybe after I'm done, fuku-buchou won't have any excuse to squeal at me anymore.)

"After that, I had a friendly match with Jenny-senpai. I guess he's still in a bad mood after yesterday when Jiji and I saw him dressed up as a snow-princess. He kept doing really fast swings and slaughtered me 6-2. (He is completely inhuman. But I still won 2 games in towards the end. I bet if I play against him again, I'm going to win.)

"My eyes were watering because staring at Jenny's fast volleys hurts. Yukimura fuku-buchou and Marui rushed over when they thought I was crying. (Can you believe that? I never cry! I didn't even cry when I fractured my arm and dislocated my shoulder a few years ago. Why would I cry over something like this?)

""You should treat your kouhai nicer, Gen-kun. It was supposed to be a friendly match." Yukimura's voice carried an accusatory tone and I saw Jenny-senpai's eyes widened so much it looked like _he's_ going to cry. Except he didn't. (I was really hoping he would. He'd look so silly!)

"Fuku-buchou wrapped his arms around me like an octopus. I guess he's trying to make me feel better but it just wasn't working. (I don't think anyone could feel better when half the tennis club wants to murder you. Fuku-buchou is such a bakemone. It's the only way to explain their unnatural obsession. He must have hypnotized them all! Maybe he's part vampire, part tako?) **(2)**

"I waved at Jiji for help, but he was too busy acting like the Yuurei he is (and scaring away all the first years when he started cackling into his notepad.)

"Marui gave me a stick of bubblegum to make me feel better, then bounced off to the changing rooms, dragging me (and a clingy fuku-buchou) with him. I followed along because I don't want to clean up the courts.

"Fuku-buchou didn't say anything. So I didn't end up having to clean the courts. (Which was great! A Rikkaidai ace like me shouldn't have to clean up courts. _I_ should be ordering people to clean up the courts.)

"Instead, I ended up with something worse.

"I ended up with a sugar-high bunny and a detention after school for a week because we were caught chewing gum (which I was not doing. I was blowing a bubble), running in corridors (Bunny was only one running. I was _jogging_) tripping over a teacher (She would have fallen anyway. She's wearing 5-inch heels) and making a mess of her textbooks. (It's not that big of a mess. Just bubblegum on a few textbooks. I didn't even make the mess! The teacher made it when she tried to clean it off.)

"But the head-teacher didn't have any logical thinking and gave us a week's detention anyway. The only thing I can be thankful for was that it was a Friday. That meant we only had 2 days of detention instead of 6. (He said at the end of the week, not for a week. He can't blame me if I don't turn up.)

"I sulked all morning in class (Detentions are boring. Classes are boring.), and sulked some more when I overheard some teachers talking about Jiji and me.

""Yanagi-kun has been tutoring Kirihara-kun for the past 3 years. That's probably why he scored high on the last test." My history sensei sighed dreamily. "I wish Yanagi-kun was in my class again this year. He was such a good student."

""I don't know about that. But I do know that Kirihara-kun never pays attention and scribbles all over his worksheets! The only thing I could read was his name!" That was my English teacher, who's unfit to be my English teacher. What kind of English sensei is he if he couldn't spell tiger right? **(3)**

"Besides, my doodles looked way better than his writing. (I guess I shouldn't have drawn all over my answers. But my rendition of him drowning in words was a masterpiece. When I become famous, he can sell it for a few million yen. He should be happy he's getting it for free.)

""I heard Yanagi's English is quite good. I'm sure he's been tutoring Kirihara-kun in that as well."

""He does. (Yanagi tutors me in every subject because he's a sadomasochist. Seeing me in pain makes him happy and talk Yuurei.) He told me Kirihara's quite bright, but is easily distracted." (I resent that. I'm not easily distracted. I only become distracted when there's chocolate sundaes involved.)

""That's true. I have to keep asking him questions just to keep him awake." The truth comes out. I valiantly fought the urge not to find Jiji and kill him right there. Jiji already took away half of my free time trying to tutor me, now he's taking away my napping time too? Is this what it feels like being haunted? Being unable to rest and sleep?

"How do you kill a yuurei?

"Can you kill a yuurei? (If I can't I guess torture will be acceptable too...)

""I do the same!" Both sensei shared an evil laugh that sounded like they were planning to overtake the world. I decided then to place a couple of stinkbombs in the teachers' lounge sometime during this week. Perhaps even throw in a couple of extra stinky ones and a few worms in their drawers. (It shouldn't be that hard. I've done it something similar before, except it involved mice and red paint. The outcome looked like a murder site during the rat plague. It was quite ingenious, if I do say so myself.)

"That's why during break time, I chased down Bunny and asked him if he knew any ekusoshisuto. I need to get a yuurei off my back. **(4)**

"Bunny ruffled my hair a bit (and completely undid all the work Yukimura-fukubuchou had done. Having irresistibly curly hair is a pain sometimes. What's wrong with just leaving it be?) Then popped a gum into his mouth and said behind his bubble. (I guess he's not that worried about getting another detention.) "Niou might know something about it. He knows _everything_."

"I thought Jiji's the one who knew everything. (He even knows how many snowflakes were on Jenny's outfit yesterday. Exactly 83 and a quarter. Why he counted them is beyond me. Wouldn't knowing how Yukimura-fukubuchou managed to get Jenny into that outfit be more useful? At least I could use that info!)

"Since I couldn't ask Jiji, I went along with Bunny. I didn't know where to find Niou-senpai so I asked Marui to find Niou for me. He looked rather excited when I told him I'm going to exorcise Jiji.

""I always _knew_ there's something wrong with him! I'm such a _genius_!" Marui crowed loudly, waving a fork around. We were eating on the back stairs on one of the higher floors so we wouldn't get tripped over. (It was also one those restricted access places, which made it an ideal place for lunch.) "He's acting crazier than usual. I saw him stalking Sanada earlier. Does he have a snowflake fetish?"

""I don't think so. Maybe he'll get better after we've exorcised him." I said. "Is Niou-sempai coming?"

""Yeah. I told him during Art. He said he's coming after he finished making those ofudas." **(5)**

"We waited for a few more minutes for Niou, chatting about the pros and cons of the sour raspberry lemon bubblegum. (Why couldn't they make chocolate sundae bubblegum flavor? I bet it'll sell twice more than anything with the word 'sour'. Doesn't sour mean the bubblegum's gone bad? Like sour milk? Why would anyone want to eat expired gum?)

"When Niou came, he was holding a bunch of inked papers, a black marker, red spray paint, a jumping rope, a bucket and bottle of detergent. He looked so professional! I felt my trust for him crawl up a tiny percentage (though it's still in the negatives.)

"He smirked at us. "Who's the victim?"

""Jiji." I said. "He's eating lunch on the roof with Yagyuu-senpai."

""Yagyuu?" Niou looked a little too interested. I wonder if I should worry about it but I figured if Yagyuu-senpai's made of concrete, he shouldn't be so easy to break.

"Marui hopped down and helped Niou with the ofudas and spray paint. "Let's go! C'mon! Let's exorcise Yanagi!" He looked entirely too excited after the bubblegum discussion without the bubblegum. (Can you get sugar-high just thinking about bubblegum? Is it possible?)

""What's the plan?" I asked Niou as I lead the way towards the other side of the building.

"Niou tossed me the bucket and detergent. "First, we draw or spraypaint a couple of these," Niou gestured at the ofudas Bunny was holding. "on the walls and floor so he can't escape. Marui will distract Yagyuu while you will get the victim to stand in the middle of the pentacle. He might struggle. If he does, we'll use this rope to tie him up. Then we'll stick ofudas on him, in particular his forehead and face. If it doesn't work, we'll draw it on him."

"That sounds fun. I've never tried tying up Jiji before. I've never tried drawing on his face before either. (I would have tried, but I really can't tell whether he's asleep or awake most of the time.)

"So all three of us set up the yuurei trap on the second landing. (The first landing was too close to the roof door and they might hear us and there wasn't enough room to paint all the ofudas Niou wanted.)

"It took us all about 15 minutes. Marui was spraying red 'repel evil' signs on the walls. It looked a little crooked but Niou assured us it'll be fine. I was on the landing, drawing a large pentacle with a black marker. It was hard work, and Niou kept squirting detergent and scrubbing out any mistakes. When we finished the landing smelled like lemons.

"Phase one of the plan completed. We had 15 minutes until the end of lunchtime. 15 minutes to exorcise Jiji. (Our school was one of the few that had cleaners during the weekends. Niou said we should be nice and leave them some work to do. Luckily it's a Friday. There's a less chance of us getting caught.)

"Marui stepped eagerly up the stairs, nearly slipping in his haste. (Niou dripped detergent everywhere. He's really obsessed in squirting the green stuff and scrubbing. I think he'll make a good mum someday.)

"I waited a minute before I went up to fetch Jiji. (It would look suspicious if we went in the same time.) My shoes squelched loudly, being wet from Niou's overly enthusiastic detergent venture. Niou followed me up slower, carrying the jumping rope to tie up the yuurei when he comes through the door.

"Phase two of the plan was doing fine. Marui was busy lecturing Yagyuu about the new bubblegum flavor coming out this weekend. (It sounded like sour cherry and candy floss, or maybe it was sour cream and apple or some equally disgusting flavor. Why _don't_ they make chocolate sundae flavor?) Yagyuu looked stoned, as usual. Jiji looked placid and wearing that over-bearing smile of his.

""Jiji!" I called out from the door, trying to sound cheerful and innocent. I beckoned him to come closer to the door. Niou was hiding behind the door waiting for me to signal him to lasso the yuurei. And that was when our fool-proof plan started going wrong.

"Have you ever seen a slab of concrete moving? Not in a concrete truck, but an actual slab of hard concrete moving in the speed of sound?

"I didn't even notice Yagyuu, the concrete statue, move until he was actually in front of me. (In retrospect, I guess Yagyuu should be able to move faster since Jiji is an old man yuurei.)

"Bunny noticing, the sudden movement, reflexively grabbed onto the concrete with the tenacity of Yukimura-fukubuchou, the part tako bakemone, trying to stop the concrete moving by babbling about the elasticity of gum. It proved impossible.

"I hurriedly took a step back through the door, and felt my left foot skid out in front of me. I gave a small yelp, which Niou mistook for a signal or something. (He probably has something wrong with his hearing. Everybody could tell the difference between moving concrete and an old man yuurei. Everybody except for Niou.)

"The jumping rope appeared in a half attempt to tie up a slab of moving concrete. Bunny let out an angry yell as the rope tied him to the concrete. The concrete gave an answering grunt as my left foot slashed out, kicking him on the crotch. (Yagyuu-senpai really is made of concrete because he made absolutely no facial ticks and my foot felt like someone dropped Jiji's Oxford dictionary on it.)

"Yagyuu, the concrete, fell down the stairs, with me as his personal surfboard, deposited the jumping rope and Marui on the second landing (Bunny bounced off the wall and managed to clutch the stair railings), did some spectacular U-turn and skidded off with me, still being his surfboard, down another flight of stairs.

"I think Niou coughed or swore, I wasn't sure. Maybe he was trying to exorcise the concrete.

"All I knew was that I hurt all over and that Yagyuu weighed a ton (like concrete) so I was pinned underneath concrete. Yagyuu tried to get up but his blazer button snagged my curls and I couldn't undo it. (That's why I don't really like curly hair, even though it makes me irresistible. It's a lot of trouble.) For a few moments, I was crushed underneath concrete trying to yank my hair away without tearing it from my scalp.

"Then I heard Jiji's voice on top of the stairs, heard his yelp as his feet flew out. He appeared like the yuurei he was (out of nowhere, suddenly and unwanted) and landed on top of the concrete.

"I think that's when I heard a crack. I'm not sure, but I was sure I was in a hell lot of pain.

"And that's how I broke my ankle." I finished with a pout. "We didn't manage to exorcise any yuurei and Niou was laughing so much he slipped and squashed Bunny. And I got another week's detention, with my baka senpai-tachi."

Satoshi-sensei ruffled my hair. (What's with the hair? Please lay off the hair! It's the root of all my problems.)

"Well, in any case. I'm happy to see you again Akaya-kun. Even if it's sooner than I thought possible." He flipped open my hospital folder. (I'm very proud to state it's already more than an inch thick. Aren't I the Rikkaidai ace? Doesn't that prove that I'm invincible?) **(6)**

"Hmmm. This is the second time you've broken that ankle."

"It is?" I couldn't remember. I've been inside this ward so many times for different reasons it just melds together.

"You'll have to stay overnight. Make sure you don't have a concussion. We'll keep on contacting your mother but right now the line's not going through."

I smiled and shrugged.

"It's okay. I don't mind." I honestly didn't. I was too busy gloating that I didn't have school tomorrow or next week.

**TBC**

* * *

**Nicknames:**

Akaya Kirihara - Aka-chan (baby) - Ayaka-chan

Yanagi Renji - Jiji (old man)

Marui Bunta - Bunny

Sanada Genichirou - Jenny

Nakayama-buchou - Bakayama (stupid mountain)

Yagyuu Hiroshi - concrete

**A/N:**

**(1)** Harry Potter of course! It only comes out during the summer. The movie is rated PG-13 and Akaya's 12. How did he get in? Well, he's Akaya and he's with Jiji, doesn't that explain itself?

**(2)** tako means octopus. In Akaya's mind, Yukimura has the mass hypnosis power of a vampire and the arms of an octopus. Hence, Akaya is the ultra-hip vampire-slayer who remains unaffected by pretty vampires like Yukimura and will one day beat them up (via tennis).

**(3)** Refer to Chapter 2. There's a vague reference to 'tyger'. CC was referring to William Blake's poem – "The Tyger." Akaya just didn't realize the poet spelled tiger that way and assumed the teacher was dumb enough to make that mistake.

**(4)** ekusoshisuto – an exorcist that rids demons and bad spirits. Akaya's logic goes haywire on bad days. In Akaya's mind, Jiji being an annoying yuurei and needs to get exorcised or pranked, preferably both. (Actually trying to exorcise (prank) Jiji will most likely backfire, since the Rikkai dataman would be more than happy to be collect more data on Akaya's problematic psyche. But Akaya hasn't figured that out yet…)

**(5)** ofuda – paper charms that used to exorcise bad spirits and demons. Japanese ghosts can be repelled by ofuda. This is done usually a priest or some holy person sticking an ofuda on the forehead of the possessed person to rid the ghost. But in this case, since it's Niou (who just wanted to cause trouble) he created his own version of exorcism (to include the graffiti).

**(6)** Akaya logic – he escaped from death many times, proving he's unbeatable. (You got to feel sorry for his parents…who still have yet to appear…)

**Glossary:**

Yuurei – ghost

Kawaii – cute

Sensei – teacher / doctor

Ekusoshisuto – Japanese exorcist

Fuku-buchou – vice captain

Senpai-tachi – a group of students above your current grade.

**Other A/N:**

CC originally wanted to title this 'The exorcism of an old man' but it's all about Akaya's bad hair day and Jiji remained possessed in the end. Oh well.

Akaya's logic is a little skewed. It should be. There's a fine line between a genius and a maniac. Akaya's line is just really faint and tends to wander over to the maniac side. Well, there is also the fact that Akaya just like causing trouble…and dishing revenge.

CC hopes this chappie is better than the previous one. It certainly is longer (and a lot crazier…and it just sort of wrote itself out…perhaps CC's the one who's possessed? O.o)


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for all those who reviewed! CC will definately try to update ASAP. CC is stuck in life, in school, and in work, so your reviews definately brightened CC's day.

NOTE: As someone so kindly stated, Genichirou is pronounced like 'g' in garden. So for the sake of authenticity, Sanada will now be called 'Gwenny' (as in Gwen Stefani. _CC chuckles at Sanada's horrified look_.) CC will change Gwenny's name in earlier chappies as soon as CC finds the time…

NOTE: CC **HATES** OCs with a passion. Unfortunately, POT has very few female characters and the ones that they do have don't have the right character. So CC created one out of desperation. (sorry…CC will try to make sure Akaya has most of the spotlight…)

Warnings: hospitals, OC (argh...), bad fashion tastes, potty mouths and Akaya.

* * *

**Chapter 6 – Rusted Android and Hooker Cave Bear**

Saturday morning brought Bunny and Jiji at the door. Bunny looked a little flustered, like an angry roasted bunny with a stick up his ass.

"Jiji! Bunny-senpai! Did you bring me - ?"

Jiji held up a melting carton of chocolate sundae. Did I tell you how much I love Jiji? Well, I do! (Actually love and hate fluctuates a lot with Jiji. I only love him when he gives me food. Most of the time, he's too creepy to like.)

I beamed at him and held my arms out.

"Only if you finish your homework by Sunday afternoon." Jiji said, wearing the placid smile of his.

I deflated and decided that I don't really love Jiji anymore. "Sunday afternoon?" I don't whine. It came out as a drawn-out question. "But I'm not going to school on Monday. Why do I have to finish it by tomorrow?"

Bunny hopped onto my bed and unsympathetically dumped my homework on my plastered ankle. I glared at him. He stuck out his tongue…a neon-pink tongue. I wonder if eating too much strawberry gum can dye your tongue permanently.

"When is Kirihara-san coming back?" Jiji asked, patting my ankle cast as he walked past me to the clipboard at the bottom of my bed. (That's the pile of notes doctors and nurses scribble on whenever they stop by your bed and wonder why you haven't died yet.) I think Jiji should be admitted into the psych-ward for his unnaturally obsession with numbers.

"Ka-san's coming back on Wednesday, I think." I'm never quite sure when Ka-san's home, the only thing I'm sure of is her relative location on the globe. (I think she's in Africa because she sent me out for mosquito repellent at 3am.)

"I'll ask someone to bring you homework on Tuesday then." Jiji murmured, setting down my sundae at the foot of my bed and started flipping through my clipboard like a fanatic yuurei that he is. I grumbled a little and did an impressive show of stretches that failed to land my hands close to my cold treat.

"Help me!" I pouted, twisting my body into something that would make a yoga-master jealous.

Both my sempais ignored me. Bunny sat down, _right next to my sundae_, on the foot of my bed, swinging his legs and popping his pink bubbles, _right next to my sundae, _and he's _not_ _giving me my sundae._

I let out a frustrated growl.

"How are you feeling Ayaka-chan?" Jiji asked as he scribbled some more data into his notepad.

"Annoyed." Because my sempai are _in front of my sundae and wouldn't give it to me._

Jiji chuckled and ruffled my hair. (Not _again_ with the hair?! Maybe Jiji should be in the psycho-ward because he has an unnatural obsession with numbers _and_ curly hair.) "Don't mind Marui-kun. He's just upset that we got suspended from the tennis club for 2 weeks."

"You-what?!" I choked out. (I never thought I'd see the day Jiji got into trouble. I mean he's the teacher's pet! He's the only student allowed on campus after lockup. He's the only student allowed inside the teacher's lounge to make coffee, for _himself_.) "What the hell did you do?" (Whatever Jiji did, it must've been brilliant! I must outdo Jiji…)

"You happened." Bunny grunted, taking out another pack of strawberry bubblegum.

Jiji chuckled a little more and ruffled my hair. "I didn't know you're so popular with teachers Ayaka-chan."

"What did I do? And I'm not popular with teachers. That'll be you Jiji." Maybe Jiji's popular with teachers because he's the same age as them.

Bunny cut in with a frustrated growl. "You just _had_ to break your leg. And Yamada-sensei just _had_ to pass through that unused corridor during lunchtime." Marui grumbled, taking out his anger on my plastered ankle. I'm glad I couldn't feel it. I hope he ended up being a bruised bunny. "And Niou just _had_ to make a stupid crack on Yamada sensei's hole in his pants and at his colorful boxers. And Yukimura fuku-buchou just _had_ to pick you as his protégé…"

Jiji cut in obviously not liking the last bit. "Just be glad you're not Niou and Yagyuu-kun. They got clean-up duty plus 2 weeks suspension. Although I wonder how Yamada sensei's pants defied physics."

I decided not to enlighten them that I had fixed my gym teacher's pants a few days ago when I stumbled across his unlocked cupboard. I was on my way to art class and had a handy pair of scissors. I'm just surprised it took him so long to find it out. (I guess this means that Yamada-sensei doesn't change after gym class. The rumors are true then. What a pig. )

Marui ignored Jiji and continued his attack on my ankle. No pain at all. I feel so invincible. "And Sanada just _had_ to talk to Yukimura fuku-buchou about yesterday and found out that it's Niou's fault he's stuck as a snow-princess yesterday. And Yukimura fuku-buchou just _had_ to send Jackal after Niou. And Jackal wouldn't stop heckling me about him when I'm not as close to Niou as everyone thinks. And –"

"Wait. What?" Did Jiji stuff some energizer batteries into Bunny to get more data? The pink bunny just kept going on and on and on…and I'm getting confused.

Marui continued his monologue as Jiji turned to me to explain. "Niou impersonated Yukimura-kun. It was _Niou_ who persuaded Sanada-kun to takeover Kuwahara's part-time job at his sister's shop. It was _Niou_ who persuaded Sanada-kun to give us free frozen treats, which turned out not to be free afterall."

"…and Sanada got really mad since he had to pay for all of us, especially since his pay wasn't enough to cover what we ordered." Bunny continued ranting. "And Sanada just _had_ to confront Niou and Yagyuu during History, which got them the week's suspension."

I don't think I quite got all of that. "How did Yagyuu get involved in Sanada's fistfight?"

"Niou." Bunny said.

"Oh."

They left shortly afterwards. Jiji had promised Bunny a game on the street courts and Bunny bounced out like the energizer bunny on crack that he is. I guess he didn't realize Jiji only wanted more data on him for blackmail.

I slurped up the last drops of my sundae when another visitor dropped by. I feel so popular! (Usually nobody ever stops by, except Jiji when he drops off homework and sundaes. That's why I love and hate him so much.)

Satoshi-sensei asked how I was doing and if I could please stop leaving those toy cars out in the corridor, especially around the corners. The nurses were getting annoyed at tiptoeing through the chaos and some senior nurse had just dislocated her hip, yet again. (It's the oldest trick in the book and people still fall for it. I guess an old dog really can't learn any new and old tricks.)

"But then again," Satoshi-sensei got into his thinking position and puts his thumb under his chin. "This new batch of recruits isn't up to the usual standards. I guess you can leave them out a little longer." That was his way of telling me to tidy it up before I went to bed, which would be at least 6 hours later. He turned to leave. "Oh. And we're out of rooms so you'll be getting a roommate."

"Satoshi-sensei!!! You promised me I could get this room by myself!" I threw my pillow at him, hitting a closed door and knocking over my crutches. I cursed and flopped down onto my bed.

Satoshi-sensei always tries to get me a room by myself after all those unfortunate accidents that happened to the victim on the bed next to me.

Moments later a bruised looking nurse came in with a girl behind her.

A girl.

Did I forget to mention that this hospital only rooms people of the same gender together? It was supposed to be some kind of privacy thing.

I eyed the nurse with a glare, which she ignored. I usually get all the new nurses attending me since all the older nurses hate my guts for dislocating some body part when it's their own fault for not watching where they are walking, or sitting, or eating…

"I'm a guy you know." I pointed out.

"Right." The nurse rolled her eyes.

"I'm a guy. You want proof?" The nurse finished fluffy up the pillow and tucked in my new neighbour. Then she walked over to the foot of my bed and removed the clipboard Jiji had been obsessing over.

"It says right here, Kirihara Ayaka. 12 years old. Female. Get used to it." Then whacked me on my cast with the clipboard to emphasis her point.

"WHAT?!"

"Are you illiterate or blind?" The nurse growled, muttering something about devils and trouble-makers.

"No. But you are." I informed her. She has to be. Which part of me looks like my girly fuku-buchou? And she's obviously illiterate.

The nurse whacked the clipboard against my cast again to take out her anger but I was invincible so I didn't feel a thing. She slammed the door on her way out and didn't see the face I pulled after her.

There was a muffled giggle from underneath the covers next to me. It's not fair. I always get my own room. I make sure I get my own room. This girl will be no exception. Like their previous tenants she'll exit spectacularly - screaming, committing suicide or wetting their pants.

I pouted and sulked, wondering how I should chase this girl out.

"So you're the famous demon around here." The girl smiled. She looked to be around 16 and anorexic thin. Maybe she is? Would that mean I get to eat her dessert? (It's the only thing remotely edible around here.) "I'm Ohtori Rei." Her eyes glittered like she was high. "Want to help me redecorate the corridor?"

"No." Why should I help the stupid hospital staff when all they do is abuse me?

"You sure?" She drawled out, wiggling a can of lime green spray paint and several fat plastic spiders.

"I'm in!"

oooOOOooo

Ka-san came on Thursday afternoon to pick me up. She came back to Japan on Wednesday night since the flight was delayed and couldn't be bothered to pick me up until the next day. (Or it might be because of the hundreds of voicemail her boss left her. He suffers from some kind disorder that always acts up whenever Ka-san isn't around.)

I was understandably upset. Not because she was late, she always was. (Look no further than the last parent-teacher night. She was late by a _week_.) It was just that Rei nee-chan and I were planning to visit the vegetated people on the sixth floor and doodle on their faces.

Having someone next to you isn't that bad actually. I think Rei nee-chan is the only one that I liked, since she doesn't object to digging worms or abiding the hospital rules or their staff. Being the only demon in the hospital isn't as fun as having another demon beside you. Besides, Rei nee-chan hates sweet things and she always gives me the dessert during mealtimes, which is the only thing that's edible around here, like I said before.

Of course, dying all hospital food, telling creepy ghost stories in the preteen children's ward, switching all the sugar for salt gives her brownie points too. (You should have seen the look on the cook when she realized that no matter what she did, all the cabbages turned out blue, or the horrified scream from a mother when we bleached some kid's hair white…)

Really, she wasn't all that bad. Her brother was worse. I'd hate to room with him. (He had come to visit his dear sister yesterday by himself. What a goody-two-shoes. He's now staying down the hall from us being treated for a concussion. Hey…don't look at me. It's his own fault! I didn't do anything…just helped out a little.)

Anyway, Ka-san came in with her newly designed summer skirt, that should be worn in summer but isn't. (It's spring right now.) It was short, slinky and made out of this metallic material that would have blinded Cyclopes. Her knee-high boots were made out of the same material and decorated with frilly red leather straps.

In short, she looked like an android with rusted kneecaps.

I muffled my chuckles at Rei nee-chan's flabbergasted face. Ka-san always liked shocking people.

Then Satoshi-sensei came in with white doctor's coat and a clipboard and tried to act all professional. Somehow, he always seems to know when Ka-san is here. Maybe it's because all the nurses tend to hide from her the moment she arrives. (Ka-san never hesitates to tell you that the white nurse outfit looks horrendous with their complexion, or that the engagement ring is made out of glass not diamond.) Or maybe it was because all the doctors have the some radar for Ka-san. (You can always tell where Ka-san is by the shocked silence that follows her around.)

"Kirihara-san, I hope you had a pleasant trip." He smiled in that suave way that he thought was appealing.

"Fine, thank you Satoshi-sensei," Ka-san battered her eyelids girlishly and I tried not to gag all over myself. "I hope Aka-chan wasn't too much trouble." She cooed and tried to act motherly by ruffling my dark curls.

I pouted and tried to pull away but she had snagged my curls around her fingers and yanked hard.

"He's been an angel." Satoshi-sensei smiled brightly. On the other side of the room, I heard a muffled giggle. I scowled. Then Satoshi-sensei led Ka-san away to discuss grown-up stuff and to sign my papers to get me out.

"Your Ka-san truly is unique. I guess what you said is true." Rei nee-chan giggled. "A walking battleship, though a pretty one." She added.

"You should have seen what she wore the last time she picked me up." I chuckled, remembering fondly at the memory of Ka-san and I leaving through the main door and how all the EMT unit fell over the dying victim when they saw her. "A hooker cave bear." (Ka-san had been wearing some kind of brown-lace up furry bikini with a weird furry dress-tail on the back and furry boots. She was going to some important meeting downtown and didn't bother to get changed.)

Then Ka-san came back and we had to go. I quickly said my goodbyes, making sure if I ever visit, we will go to the sixth floor and doodle on faces - that is if Jiji allows me to go. (He always makes me work extra hard on homework after I returned to school from my hospital excursions. He says he wants to make sure I don't fall behind. I say he just likes seeing me in physical and mental pain.)

I wanted to say goodbye to Rei nee-chan's little brother too but he was holed up with another concussion after we had set a couple of toads free in his room. (He's going to end up killing all his brain cells one day. What an idiot.)

I thumped my way to our parked car, passing the spell-bound security guard and the occasional gapping visitor.

"I have a very important dinner this Saturday evening." Ka-san said as soon as she started the car. "I need you to be there…" She trailed off.

"Ka-san. I'm in crutches." I grumbled. I hate her social gatherings. It was long, boring with lots of cheek pinching and standing around looking like a parrot. "My ankle hurts. Can I just stay home?" I tried to make a pained expression, which was so realistic that Satoshi-sensei would fall for it.

"You'll just have to sit there and look pretty Aka-chan." She frowned a little, not even noticing my expression that would have won me an Oscar if it were filmed. "Well, I wanted to bring your sister but…" She trailed off again. This was the part when I should explain to you that my parents are divorced and my sister lives with my dad. But I don't want to bother so I won't.

"I'm a little behind on your outfit, so you'll have to stay at home on Friday so I could finish it, and Saturday too just in case…" She trailed off again. (She always does that when talking about something other than clothes, which is the only thing she's really interested in.)

"It's okay! I'll go." I said quickly. If it's a choice between school with Jiji on Prozac and study notes or Ka-san's boring, but not life-threatening social gatherings, I'll definitely take the latter.

I didn't regret missing out on Jiji and school until Saturday morning when I sneaked into Ka-san's workroom to peak at my outfit and screamed.

I should have known better than to leave a hooker cave bear with a sewing machine.

TBC…

* * *

Nicknames:

Akaya Kirihara - Aka-chan (baby) - Ayaka-chan

Yanagi Renji - Jiji (old man)

Marui Bunta - Bunny

Sanada Genichirou Gwenny snow princess (CC will change all the earlier chappies later…gomen ne…too tired.)

Nakayama-buchou - Bakayama (stupid mountain)

Yagyuu Hiroshi - concrete

Kuwabara Jackal - African carrot

Japanese:

_Ka-san_ is mother in Japanese.

_Nee-chan_ is sister in Japanese. You can call female non-relatives 'nee-san' if you are very familiar with them.

Author's notes:

If you still don't know who **Ohtori** Rei's little brother is…well, Shishido might want to beat you up. I believe he really does have an older sister…it says so in his biography. Does she still count as an OC then?

As for the parents of our dearest little demon, Akaya still haven't quite got over the divorce yet, so he doesn't really want to talk about it. Reason being…well, Akaya doesn't want to talk so CC wouldn't blab. It'll all come out later.

Akaya is rather disrespectful of his mother. CC don't want to blab why either, so you'll just have to wait. Gomen ne…(although one does wonder how much respect you can give your mother when they're dressed in a furry bikini…)


	7. Chapter 7

CC is not promoting underage or binge drinking, neither is Akaya.

Many thanks to all those who reviewed. You made my day brighter and less of a hell.

Warnings: Binge-drinking, bad fashion, bad language, KFC and Akaya.

* * *

**Chapter 7 – Awed…at your blindness**

I suppose it could be worse. I have no idea where I'm going but wherever I'm going seemed rather important. Ka-san's anxious. She kept pulling at my hair in the chauffeured car her boss had sent, and fussing over the feathery knit hat I was forced to wear. Ka-san's always makes me wear stuff a season or two early. She says it's to make sure that they fit on me. I think she just wants to make sure it would be able to sell. (If noone throws up on me, it's saleable.)

"Aka-chan! Stop moving!" Ka-san hissed between the hair clips she was eating, or holding. "Why can't you be more like your sister? Stop it or I'll …" As usual she trailed off and concentrated in using my head as a voodoo doll. It was a grueling 30 minutes as she tugged, hissed and cursed, twisted and pinned my hair down so that even Jiji, with his ever-expanding data, wouldn't recognize me.

When we arrived to the place, somewhere in downtown Tokyo in an upscale hotel. The 'dress-up painfully' party on the top floor (why the top floor? Did they ever think that in the case of a fire I would have a hell of a time hobbling down 55 flights of stair?), my head felt like it mince meat and looked like it too. (Proof that Ka-san did visit Africa or some other place where people wear mince-meat hair. Maybe Jackal-senpai was hungry, ate his and became bald?) **(1)**

Ka-san glided into the elevator, managed to floor the bellboy, stun the reception and make a couple of male guests faint. I hobbled and cackled madly behind her, tripped a rushing bellhop who was holding his nose, and steal a handful of reception candy (5 star hotel candies always taste good) before we got into the elevator.

The uproar was, as usual, due to Ka-san's ultra-bad taste.

Maybe it was Ka-san's hat. It looked like a rotting cauliflower crossed with an elephant ear. Or maybe it was the dress. The slit in the front of the dress was so high you can tell she was wearing matching gold panties. Billowing sleeves trimmed with white flopped around her like batwings. Golden bracelets, rings, necklaces that adorned her, was enough to have sunk the titanic. She was the epitome of glittering weirdness. **(2)**

Either way, it looked horrible enough to mask the horridness of what I was wearing. I do not relish telling you what I was forced to wear but I will so you can tell how I have been suffering for 12 years of my life.

The outfit was ghastly, but since _I'm_ wearing it, it looks less horrible. (I'm the Rikkaidai ace so anything I wear, I can make it look nice.)

To say it simply, I looked like a chicken. One of those perfectly white ones clucking around the farmyard before it ends up as part of Christmas dinner.

To put it in longer descriptive words, I looked like a white cousin of Big Bird. I was feathered and molting from hat to the lone feathered boot. I would look more at home doing some promotional work for KFC than at some high-end party on the top floor, where the chicken dishes don't resemble chicken. (Does that mean I can fly off 50 floors and escape? I'm wearing enough feathers that would make Icarus jealous.)

The first thing I saw when we reached the top floor, (besides the shell-shocked bellhop) was the vast extravagance of the color lavender that stretched from the ceiling to floorboard. Ka-san immediately glided over to the host and hostess (in which the host couldn't seem to take his eyes off Ka-san's attire) and gushed over the splendid-ness of the entire debacle.

"You look absolutely stunning Rina-sama! The silk taffeta really brings out your eyes!" Ka-san never hesitates to inform her client how good they looked in her designs.

The hostess glowed with the comments because like me, Ka-san's performance would have won an Oscar. (Ka-san takes after me.) The two women bantered back and forth until the host managed to grab hold of his senses (and his bleeding nose) to introduce himself.

"Pleasure to meet you Kirihara-san. My wife spoke of you quite often. I'm glad we finally have the opportunity to meet." The man bowed and kissed Ka-san's hand like an oily, suave pimp king.

"Please call me Kazuki, Atobe-sama." Ka-san said in a saccharine voice. Introductions were made. Rina-san fussed over my broken ankle ("Poor Aya-chan!" she had screeched, completely missing how it's completely obvious that I'm no girl and wearing shorts, even if they are feathered.) Ka-san dragged me off before I got a chance spill tea on Rina-sama's precious gown, though I did manage to fling a feather or two into the nearest waiter's platter.

For an entire hour, I was dragged around like a molting pet chicken to be introduced (shown-off) to Ka-san's many clients. My cheeks were permanent red from all the pinching and I was getting bored of flinging feathers into cups.

She finally left me alone to nurse my wounds after strict instructions to be on my best behavior and to 'tell Keigo-kun how good he looks in his suit.' No doubt she had designed the host's son's clothes too.

I hobbled off eagerly to humiliate the guy. Humiliation likes company afterall.

Keigo was a riot.

I couldn't approach him simply because he looked even more ridiculous than me. What was even more hilarious was the way he strutted around unaware of the disgusting lavender and white lace adorning him, making him look like a wedding cake disaster. (Although still not as bad as Ka-san as the golden elephant.)

I was still chuckling into those sweet bubbly drinks Ka-san told me not to drink (hence why I'm drinking it) when the wedding cake decided to intervene.

"Those are champagne from the House of Perrier Jouet." The wedding cake pompously stated. **(3)**

"And I'm a dehydrated cripple from Kanagawa." I shot back gulping down another glass chewing on the cherry. "Have pity."

"Those are reserved for guests over 20 and not for little children." The wedding cake gritted out. **(4)**

"I know my limits." I shrugged. "No need to worry." It's not like I hadn't had alcohol before. Beer tasted like brewed bear piss. Wine tasted like expired bad grape juice. Champagne was tolerable and I know I can handle 6-7 glasses before I keeled over. What was this guy ranting about?

I hit an epiphany. "You're jealous 'cause I can drink alcohol and you can't." I smirked. I'm so brilliant. (Another proof that I'm the Rikkaidai ace.)

The wedding cake spluttered indignantly. He spat out a bunch of words that made no sense ending with a 'I'm still better than you plebian girl.'

"What did you call me?" I don't know what plebian is, but the girl part was enough to make me want push him into the punch bowl and make him wear pie crust.

"Plebian. Obviously your low education belies your appearance."

I hissed. "Obviously your high education missed out eye-brain coordination and drinking etiquette." Anyone could see I'm a boy! I'm wearing shorts! Just because they're feathered (and looked like a dead chicken) doesn't mean I'm any less manly!

"Etiquette?" The wedding cake's face looked like it was lit with candles, flaming red candles. "I'll have you know that my etiquette teacher was flown in from Germany and France and spent a year teaching me. While you obviously are too underprivileged to afford one."

"Since I'm poor then you wouldn't mind if I keep drinking so I wouldn't starve when you kick me out into the streets again." I grabbed another glass, spotting this one had 2 cherries instead of the usual one. "Hah, two cherries!" I crowed.

The wedding cake blazed, and snatched the glass out of my hand.

"Hey! That was mine! Get your own glass!" I hobbled over to him (damn crutches) and tried to look as menacing as I could dressed up like a chicken.

We tussled about (with some moronic guests commenting how well we seem to be getting along) and the drink somehow ended up inside the wedding cake. (Hah! I knew it all along! The stupid cake was jealous that I have better alcohol tolerance!)

The lavender and white frilled monster smacked his lips. "Now you can't have it."

I howled. 2 cherries! I gave him my best glare, turned back to the drinks table and downed 2 more glasses with a smirk. The wedding cake with etiquette lessons (which were probably non-existent, he had worse manners than me) gulped down four. Not to be outdone, I tossed back 3…

oooOOOooo

I didn't know what happened on Sunday or Monday, since I had a massive headache that lasted 2 days. Ka-san seemed all too happy at her success in the party to berate me. Apparently Atobe-san's dress was a hit and now half of the high society is demanding Ka-san's personal touch on their evening gowns. (Oh, the horror! It'd be like the night of the zombified mutated KFC chicken!) She also seemed happy that the wedding cake and I got along so well. (Perhaps her information source was drunk too.)

She was so happy that she decided another trip was in order, as a celebration and inspiration for her new autumn line.

She left on Monday night; leaving me with one of her many credit cards, couple hundred thousand yen in the not-so-hidden jar under the bathroom sink and a pack of aspirin. I think I should feel touched that she cared enough to leave aspirin for me, but that was until I found it's passed its use-by date. (Probably been left in her suitcase for too long.)

Jiji turned up on my doorstep on Tuesday morning smiling as usual.

"Yukimura fuku-buchou has been asking about you non-stop and there's a 87 percent chance that you left the phone unhooked yesterday for an extra sick day." Jiji said, giving me the boot out of my own door. "Sanada wanted me to make sure you'd come to school today."

"I was sick." I informed him. "I had a headache."

"There's a 93 percent chance you are lying because you have an English test on Monday."

I pouted back. "I wasn't lying. I really was sick." I decided to leave out the part about the hangover.

Jiji smiled back in the way that I knew meant he didn't believe me but decided to let it slide this time.

We got to school in good time (late only by 5 minutes, which was usual.) Jiji already had a note to excuse him for his lateness, I had only my convincing pout and tears to excuse me from being late to P.E. It wasn't like I could participate anyway, why wasn't I allowed to sleep in until P.E. was over?

I sat next to some other guy in the lower classes who had twisted his wrist or something. (Lower classes as in lower average IQ classes.)

In Rikkaidai, we have mixed P.E. lessons with the entire grade to 'encourage new friendships and cooperation'. It really is just pretense since the teachers wanted the more physically talented to be grouped together. Unfortunately, those in the lower classes tend to lean towards the ultra-talented jock side (which was why they were accepted to Rikkaidai in the first place) thus all that mixing mounted to nothing. But since I'm the Rikkaidai ace (thus in the elite P.E. group) this is one of the few classes that I could actually hang out with the other freshmen tennis teammates. (Not that they are any fun either.)

"What are we supposed to do?" I asked the brown-haired guy.

"Make sure nobody cheats." He answered glumly, looking longingly at the soccer field. There was a few moments of silence as we sat watching the entire class chase down one lonesome soccer ball down the field. A bunch of maniacs with no sense of tactics. (It says a lot about their brain power when all twenty of them are bunched up together like sheep and the two goalies leaning on the posts half asleep.) It took a couple of seconds before I recognized nearly all of these people were from _my_ class.

"Don't worry about it. None of them will cheat. They are boring like that." I pointed it out.

The guy gave a frustrated sigh and tore his eyes away from the massacre on the soccer field. (It would have been a massacre if the die-hard soccer fans ever watched how my class butchered the sport. They would commit suicide.)

"I'm Hidaka Ken by the way." He smiled at me, dimples showing. "Class 1-3." He was a jock alright, Class 1-3.

"Kirihara _Aka_ya." I introduced, stressing on the 'Aka' part so it doesn't sound remotely like Ayaka. (Stupid Jiji and his stupid nick-names.) "Class 1-1."

Ken's eyebrows rose like a surprised geisha, probably couldn't quite believe such a muscular manly guy like me was in the prestigious class.

"Yes, that's my class." I answered his eyebrows. "They suck at sport, have zero social life, all vying for the snob-of-the-year award."

Ken laughed. "And you are different because –" he slapped his hand over his mouth.

"I play tennis." I proclaimed. "I'm their ace."

His eyes brightened with understanding. "So you're the guy Yukimura-senpai was raving about. It makes sense now. What did you do to yourself? There have been rumors that some of the freshmen were jealous and pushed you down the stairs. Did that really happen?"

"As if they could!" I snorted. "I was exorcising a ghost."

"Wow." Ken's eyes shone at me in awe and respect, like a fanatic church go-er would look at the veil. I could feel this is the start of an interesting friendship.

oooOOOOooo

Author's notes:

**(1)** Akaya means dreadlocks. Mince meat coming directly from the machine does look rope-like…like dreadlocks…

**(2)** Picture authentic African fashion style dress, slim it down and get rid of the trousers that should be worn underneath, and you got it!

**(3)** Some legendary champagne brand that boasted to be long adored by the rich and famous since 1811. The most famous Champagne is the Belle Epoque Cuvée which comes in a gorgeous Art Nouveau bottlethat is decorated with white anemones and enamelled rosescircled with gold which was designed by the highly respected glassmaker Emile Gallé in 1902. (CC got this from a 'best champagne' website, since CC is not _privileged_ enough to taste it. The bottle certainly sound gaudy enough for the Atobes.)

**(4)** Drinking age in Japan is 20. Please correct me if I'm wrong.

Other notes:

CC had it all planned before CC typed it up. Atobe was supposed to be in black and white Armani suit. Originally, his nickname was going to be Oreo-sama, in reference to his suit, but somehow he turned into a cake. (And now Marui's drooling all over him…)

Hidaka Ken is from Weiss Kreuz. CC was a WK fan since they all look so kawaii, though my favorite is still Omi and Aya. Unfortunately, they do not exist here (at least not yet,) since this timeline is set before Weiss has started. For those of you who don't know the series, Hidaka Ken was a goalie in J-league (and that's all you have to know for now.)

CC doesn't want to add OCs (CC hates OC) but it doesn't make sense if Akaya has no friends in his grade. Not when he's such a lovable devil. How can you not love him?


End file.
